The Freedom of 'No'

“Why didn’t I just say no? I don’t really have the time. I am already stretched too thin. If I don’t do it, no one will!” 

Can you relate to these thoughts? 

I am a recovering “people pleaser” who spent so much of my life believing I had to say “yes” to everyone and everything.  

Looking back, I see time and again where I allowed my desire to save the world to wreak havoc not only on me personally, but within my marriage and family.

I would put the ones I loved the most on hold... I could focus on them when I had more time. They were easily accessible for me to smooth over later because they had no other choice.  

My Yes; Often Meant “No” to God

For so long, I prided myself on having a heart for others and therefore justified my actions as such. When I was forced to face the truth, the hurt and rejection I had created in my most valued relationships required major healing and restoration. The hardest part was admitting to myself that so much of my “yessing” was in direct disobedience to God.

Yep, you read that correctly ... My yes to others often meant no to God. Ouch. 

I had to make changes, break some ties, and reprioritize my life.  

Unfortunately, my years of yessing and pleasing required me to set new and necessary boundaries. The boundaries offended those whom I had previously allowed to hold destructive expectations over me. Not everyone was fond of the “New Serena”, so not everyone stuck around. In all honesty, the journey was heartbreaking and liberating all at once. 

Don’t waste your life distracted by other’s lives and miss the calling that God has placed on your life.

When we walk in obedience with God, our lives change in extraordinary ways because we allow Him to move! If you are struggling with your own case of “people pleasing”, say yes to God and allow Him to guide you. If His answer is no, He will give you the courage and boldness to relay the message!  

Find freedom in saying no! 

“But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No. ' For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” -Matthew 5:37